samuelock's Xanga

See You!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:00:52 GMT

perfect in weakness

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:25:45 GMT

God, i gotta say that it really, really hurts to see those i care about wallow in their own pride and sin...tricking themselves into thinking that they're going to heaven. i wish i could do something to open their eyes, but it is your decision and power in the end. God, i pray for your grace, that you've chosen these people to be redeemed, so they can feel what it truly means to have a peace that transcends all understanding. i see them living completely blind, and it breaks my heart over and over. i wish i could show them, but they won't listen...God, you are good. may your will be done.

copydog

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:29:13 GMT

sarah, i just saw your entry, so i decided to copy you.
MY MUSICAL GOALS:

-play a huge live show with 'Company Idyll'. huge as in at least 100 people. i know the band isn't even fully formed yet.

-collaborate with famous youtube musicians AND wongfu muehehehe

-own my own home studio

-break the asian-american artist barrier

-write a christian song in japanese, and one in korean

-play with (a) famous musician(s) i.e. steve jordan, john mayer

-not be poor.

weee!! all from God's grace.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:40:34 GMT

in You we are satisfied.

riichi

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:41:09 GMT

I'm going to teach myself how to play Riichi Mahjong. It's actually something I've been wanting to do. Yay!

Bi

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:00:07 GMT

Work ends on Saturdays for me around 12 midnight. Today I finished closing around 12:30. I went to the bathroom, and then clocked out. I suspected that the rain would've died down from a few hours ago, but no, the drops were even larger than before. I walked on over to my car and started to drive home. I've got to say, as much as I hate driving, I do enjoy driving home at night, all alone with nice music playing. A joy and ode to my singleness there.

Driving home, I feared for my life. I could barely see the white lines on 695 and 70. Visibility was probably less than 50%. I hydro-planed quiet a number of times. You ever get so scared that you don't even feel scared anymore? That's kind of how I felt...hard to explain. As I feared, I happened upon myself drifting out of the "driving mode" and actually payed close attention to my senses. I saw the rain, pouring down all around me, my headlights illuminating the drops nearby. What a nice sight to behold. I heard the drops, falling onto my car in continuous noise, mixing in with the lady "Feist" that was singing through the speakers. What nice things to hear.

Then again, I wasn't afraid, even though my brain was telling me to be afraid. I spoke to God, "God, I'm literally depending on you right now. Anything could happen." Do you ever have one of those moments where literally the only thing you're choosing to depend on is God? This was that moment for me. I felt peace and assurance, that I'd get home safely. I enjoyed the sights and sounds, and safely made it back home.

no good

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:27:42 GMT

the only good in anyone is from God.

so cheer up. you're worse than you think you are.

simple. hard.

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:17:13 GMT

it's just so simple: everyone needs grace at every single moment. any moment we're not aware of grace is the moment we're probably in sin.

God's grace is the driving force of everything good.

let's try to think of grace AS MUCH AS WE CAN!!!

=) =) =) =)

LOVE

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:19:00 GMT

" 17 "Speak this word to them:
" 'Let my eyes overflow with tears
night and day without ceasing;
for my virgin daughter—my people—
has suffered a grievous wound,
a crushing blow.

18 If I go into the country,
I see those slain by the sword;
if I go into the city,
I see the ravages of famine.
Both prophet and priest
have gone to a land they know not.' ""

Jeremiah 14: 17-18

In my ongoing struggle through the book of Jeremiah, my perspectives have been refreshed yet again.

One large grudge the world has against God is that he is a God of wrath, anger, and jealousy, completely contradictory to the God of the new testament who seems to be ever so forgiving and loving. If people actually READ the Bible, this seeming "contradiction" is actually pretty much non-existent. The Bible through and through will continue to prove that God is good.

Now what do I mean? Let's take a look through at this passage from Jeremiah. God is telling the nation of Israel how he weeps for them. You will also find in Jeremiah that God tells Israel that he will completely crush them, leaving no one to mercy. Now why would he do that?

The answer, with just a little bit of critical analysis comes to light: Man is freaking stubborn.

In the past 13 chapters of Jeremiah, God has been warning Israel over and over and over and over again that they will feel the full wrath of the Lord if they don't turn from their wicked ways. Now these wicked ways aren't the same as what we think of, the whole "in case God doesn't show then let the good times roll" kind of thing. No, the ways of Israel were truly wicked. Theft, murder, adultery, incest, prostitution weren't uncommon in the "Jeremiah" nation of Israel. This is the nation that God is weeping over. Even after these past 13 chapters of warning, Israel is still deaf to hear, and God is STILL offering mercy.

Does this not seem like a merciful God, and such a stubborn creation? God is offering to restore riches and peace to Israel, yet they think they're perfectly fine with their muck. God warns them, yet they don't listen.

Then what is there left to do to get the point across? Wrath. If man doesn't feel the wrath of God, they will not fear him. They will not listen to him. Even AFTER they feel the wrath of God, some will still turn a cold shoulder and ignore the calling of God.

Think about it. The only reason God flooded the earth, sent armies to slaughter Israel, made Israel wait in the desert for 40 years before entering the promised land, sent judges to redeem Israel at it's every cry of pain is because man wouldn't get the point otherwise. Man is freaking stubborn.

Here's the kicker: isn't man glorified in God's eyes? When God looks at a rapist and sees how sin has caused him to flee into darkness, don't you think God looks at him with utmost love, wishing for that man to find peace in Him? God loves man...soooooo much. If we all looked at each other the way God looks at us, there would be an overflow, an abundance of LOVE.

God is good. God is love. =)

feel ya, dawg.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:33:08 GMT

Jeremiah 12

Jeremiah's Complaint

1 You are always righteous, O LORD,
when I bring a case before you.
Yet I would speak with you about your justice:
Why does the way of the wicked prosper?
Why do all the faithless live at ease?
2 You have planted them, and they have taken root;
they grow and bear fruit.
You are always on their lips
but far from their hearts.

3 Yet you know me, O LORD;
you see me and test my thoughts about you.
Drag them off like sheep to be butchered!
Set them apart for the day of slaughter!

4 How long will the land lie parched
and the grass in every field be withered?
Because those who live in it are wicked,
the animals and birds have perished.
Moreover, the people are saying,
"He will not see what happens to us."

-Jeremiah 12:1-4

ughhhh why does this passage resonate within me so deeply right now...my pride is kicking in again. what am i jealous of? why do i feel so embittered at times? where is my joy? where is my conviction? there are just some moments in my life where i just want to stop caring. about people. about my life. about God. there are some moments where i wish i could die and meet God already.

what a crazy existence we have, where our deepest inherent desire is to keep living...to keep searching for purpose.

the answer to life's question is so simple: God. but what an impossible answer to accept without the complete grace from the Answer alone. God is the answer, but we need God to accept this answer. crazy.

so i will keep living. i will depend on you, God. you are all i have and will ever need. i'll forget that, but i know you'll tap on my shoulder and remind me again. =)